Five Common Traits of The Unintentionally Successful Accidental Personal Brand

This article was originally written for Dan Schawbel's Personal Branding Blog. 

For most people there is one path to recognition, status and authority-slaving away, day in and day out, mastering a craft, drawing attention to achievements, and hoping that one day all that hard work will coalesce into a recognized personal brand. There is, however, the exception: the Accidental Personal Brand. This is the person who emerges from the ether, gains the attention of the masses, and benefits from the opportunities that inevitably come with an attentive audience.

To most of us, these lucky few are supremely unworthy. If, for example, you're a struggling (but talented!) writer, who hunches over your computer for several hours a day working endlessly to entertain your audience and build your platform, you likely cringe whenever you hear that the Internet phenomenon du jour has secured a book deal with an unheard-of advance, based on a blog started on a whim.

Learn from the non-deliberate

And I can't help but agree that to the untrained eye, most Accidental Personal Brands (APBs) seem to have nothing more than dumb luck on their side, but-stick with me here-not all accidental personal brands are untalented or undeserving. And either way, what's important here is that we can learn quite a bit from the paths they take-from the very non-deliberate way in which their personal brands emerge to the very deliberate ways in which they capitalize on the opportunities that follow.

But first, a look at some of the most compelling recent APBs:

Joe the Plumber rocketed from a random commenter on Obama's small-business tax policy to the mascot for middle-class America. He's since released a book, signed a record deal, made more than a few paid personal appearances, and the list goes on. Jared Fogle lost nearly 100 pounds on his Subway sandwich diet, but gained national attention, a 10-year stint as the Subway spokesperson and a slew of speaking gigs. After Ken Jennings won 74 games of Jeopardy!, he was added to the Guinness Book of World Records, he wrote two books, secured a regular column with Mental Floss, and continues to entertain several media opportunities.

Jon and Kate Gosselin managed to transform their sextuplets into a media empire, including a reality show, books and speaking engagements; a ton of cash, and a high-profile divorce. Octomom secured an upcoming reality show that will feed the country's obsession with her and her octuplets. Levi Johnston got national recognition for getting a vice presidential candidate's daughter pregnant and continues to capitalize on his newfound fame-although his long-term success as an APB remains to be seen. Bloggers are plucked out of the blogosphere daily for book deals and other opportunities.

You get the point.

So now for the real question: What are the key elements that distinguish these APBs and how do they compare to the steps you're taking to build your personal brand?

5 common traits

Subject matter. Whether inane or ingenious, the content or actions that got our favorite APBs noticed are authentic. All too often people over think their messages/content/actions in attempt to cater to the perceived needs of their target audiences, but being formulaic and over-curating your every move are tactics that are at odds with accessibility, transparency and passion-the qualities that generate real audiences.

Audience building. Their audiences came to them, not the other way around. This is not to say that this is the only way, or even the best way, to build your audience, but it's worth noting that our sample APBs' audiences congregated around what was offered (whether its value was sheer entertainment, informational or otherwise). Many disproportionately focus on getting more followers, more email addresses or just more attention-essentially spending more time shamelessly promoting themselves-than on offering value to these audiences. Think of the so-called "experts" or "gurus" you find on Twitter. You know the ones-they've got 50,000 followers, are following 60,000 people, and don't have an expert or guru-esque tweet to speak of. So, no matter how big their audience, they don't own it, and therefore won't be able to leverage it as a selling point.

Platform agnostic. These APBs transcend platform. None of them are limited to writing, blogging, speaking, singing or any one other thing. Although they might have been discovered for one of these things, their personal brand is versatile and goes beyond the competency responsible for their rise to notoriety. Essentially, they are the brand and revenue streams flow outward from what they've established.

Continual brand reinforcement. In other words, don't rest on your laurels waiting for the next opportunity to come to you. This is one piece of advice that APBs tend to bypass, which is why so many of them fade into oblivion after their fast rise to prominence. The key is to have complete ownership over your assets and your audience. Depending on your goals, this could mean the regular production and distribution of thought leadership, publishing your own book (without somebody else's green light), or creating videos and other online content that allow you to speak directly with your audience, and keep them coming back to YOU for more.

A pivotal moment. For each one of these people there was a pivotal moment when they were confronted with an opportunity, whether related or unrelated to their original platform. And the decisions they made at that moment is what may very well determine their staying (or going) power. When building your personal brand, you might have very specific goals in mind, but the opportunities that result aren't always in sync with your plans. If your only plan is to make the most money as quickly as possible, then take what you can get. If, however, you want to build a long-lasting empire, well then, you're better off bypassing the accidental and focusing on the strategic.

Have You Searched Your Brand Recently? (And Did You Do Anything About What You Found?)

Yesterday I noticed this little blurb on The Atlantic’s Politics blog:

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Now, if I were an average person hoping to learn a little bit more about Rick Santorum (let’s just assume that I wasn’t aware of his fraught political past), my next step might just be to do a little research on the good old Internet. So I’m off to Google...doo do doo... Where I type in “Santorum” ‘cause, hey, I like to know who’s running for president—or even thinking about it.

 

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Holy moly! Egad! Dear Lord! I won’t bother to quote from the very first hit on Google—I’m assuming if you made it this far, you’re capable of reading it yourself—but, um, yeah, that’s 1) gross, to say the least, 2) so not what I was expecting to find when I googled the name of a potential presidential candidate, and 3), assuming you’re wired like me, so compelling that I now have to click through and find out why, on the page that’s supposed to be leading me to presidential discovery, at least four are the kind of results I’d expect from a very different kind of search. 

Of course, clicking through will pretty quickly help me understand that the “santorum” is the brainchild of sex columnist Dan Savage and his readers, who were none too pleased by the then-senator’s anti-gay stance, which linked homosexuality to incest, polygamy, and zoophilia (aka sex with animals).  And, boy, oh boy, were they successful.  I would imagine that to anyone under a certain age, Santorum slips in right alongside Carl and trombone for words that can pretty quickly take one down a particular associative path.

So the real question is, how the heck did Santorum—and his people—ever let this happen?!  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted that they did, but isn’t this Online Crisis Management 101?  Wouldn’t someone have had the common sense to organize some grassroots efforts to knock those less-than-ideal links off the first page of Google?   Because—and I realize I’ve neglected to mention this additional little nugget—this all blew up in 2004.  2004!  They have had five (5!) years to do something about it.  And at least some of those years, Santorum has to have been contemplating a run for the presidency.  I can only say, oy…

Fortunately, the egregiousness of the Santorum case offers some lessons—especially about online marketing, social media, etc.—for the rest of us:

Listen.  Okay, I don’t even know why I have to say this, but we see it all the time:  People are incredibly motivated to talk about themselves, blog about their interests, look for followers, make “friends,” but they’re not all that concerned about what other people are saying.  There is nothing more important in public relations, in social media, in any sort of brand preservation and creation than knowing what people are saying about you, your issues, your product, even your competitors.  You need to be out there listening so that when the crisis arises—and it will, at some point—you're prepared to nip it in the bud, head it off at the pass, and put out fires before they get out of control.

Build Relationships.   Dan Savage engages with his readers and listeners, he’s funny, he’s honest, and his fans feel like he’s a real guy who connects with them and their lives.  He doesn’t just talk at them.  So when Dan decided to have a little fun at the hate-mongering Santorum’s expense by launching a friendly competition to see who could come up with the filthiest faux definition for “santorum,” they laughed.  They got involved.  They delivered.  And the gay community, the people who listen to his show and read his columns, teens and twenty-somethings (and apparently lots of post-twenty-somethings) who like things that are funny, dirty, and a little insider-ish were happy to spread the word.

Know Your Audience.  It’s clear that Dan Savage did.  But it’s not so clear that Rick Santorum did.  At the time, Santorum was a senator.  Of a big state.  With a relatively moderate voting history.  Sure, they had voted him into office on his conservative platform, but statistically, it was safe to assume that only a minority of voters shared his extreme views.  Democratic and Republican Senators frequently fall into more moderate, compromising lines once they are elected to office not because they lose their convictions, but because they recognize the challenges of representing a multifarious constituency in a complex and diverse country.  Rick Santorum is perfectly within his rights to pursue an extreme path, but he couldn’t expect Pennsylvanians to follow.  Which might explain why there wasn’t a strong voice countering Savage and his audience through websites, blogs, and discussions that outweighed or, at the very least, balanced out the “santorum” voices.

Own Your Name.  It takes work, it takes involvement, it takes pr, it takes content creation… you get the picture.  You need to be out there driving the discussion, making the news, owning the keywords that relate to you and, above all, owning your own name.  Sure, the occasional piece of negative publicity or a critical website, article or post might creep into those top ten search results, but if you’re consistently shaping, generating, and driving the conversation, it’s only going to carry so much weight.  Check out other lightning rods for criticism like Hillary Clinton or Rush Limbaugh.  You know people are saying lots of nasty things about them, and yet somehow they still manage to control the top spots in search.

When All Else Fails, Triage.  So you let things get away from you.  While busy managing one crisis, you didn’t see another brewing.  Your team was too busy developing strategy to think about the external face of your brand.  You simply weren’t listening.  It’s time to take the horse by the reins and get things under control.  First things first…  Look at your own website.  How frequently are you updating it?  Are you giving people a reason to go there?  Are you building your relationships with your supporters so that they’ll drive traffic to your site?  Are you creating fresh, readable, informative content that people will make people return to your site regularly to see what’s going?  If not, it’s time make that a priority.  Next, think about enlisting the help of your enthusiasts, supporters and target audience.  By tapping into this community, you build your audience and shift the conversation.  Finally, if you need more help, hire an SEO firm, get a better publicist, enlist the help of marketing strategists who know this stuff.  Do you really think other people aren’t fighting off criticism too?   And for goodness’ sake, don’t let five years pass before you get started!

 

Big Brands Being Little (Or Why Mainstream Media Shouldn't Try to Be Like Bloggers)

This morning Genna forwarded me a little article from the New York Times Thursday Styles section. About J.C. Penney. Yawn.

Or maybe not.

Genna prefaced her sending with, "it's really kind of offensive," but I was thinking, it's in the Times, how bad can it be?

But of course, then I felt compelled to read it, and boy was Genna right.

But why? Everywhere you look these days some blogger or critic is spewing clever snark, trashing everything from celebrity cellulite to Obama's healthcare plan. So what's the big deal, why would this particular article be so troubling when it's fairly run-of-the-mill in comparison to some of the vitriol that's out there?

On a fundamental level, because it was in the New York Times. No matter how often people like to claim that blogs and the mainstream media are running neck-and-neck, that blogs are just as valid a source of news as respected media outlets, the reality just doesn't back that up.

While blogs may be factual, insightful, and truly informative, I expect them to have an author's personality, for better or for worse, infused into the tone and perspective. If someone goes off the deep end in a rant or draw obscene figures on faces a la Perez Hilton, I tend to think, whatever. It's a blog. I didn't come for journalism. I came for something more social, chatty and personal -- I want to read news through a filter.

When it comes to mainstream media (and I'm not including anything overtly partisan in this group), that's just not the case. I'm certainly not naïve enough to think that news outlets and their journalists don't bring biases to their coverage, but I expect, at the very least, a good faith attempt at respectful reporting. Sure, that doesn't mean the reporting will be good, but at least there's some semblance of a legitimate attempt. There's editorial oversight. And even if someone's a critic, tasked with giving readers an opinion and review, I expect that critic, even at his/her harshest, to know the line between critique and snark.

So when an (apparently) editor-approved article appears in a mainstream publication -- even under the "Critical Shopper" headline -- that is petty, bitchy, elitist and just downright mean, it's not cute or funny. No, it ends up feeling like the mean girl picking on the overweight/less attractive/glasses-wearing/nerdy/unathletic girl. And that's just gratuitous cruelty.

(A particularly choice paragraph:  "It took me a long time to find a size 2 among the racks. There are, however, abundant size 10's, 12's and 16's. The dressing rooms are big, clean and well tended. I tried two fairly cute items: a modified domino-print swing dress with padded shoulders by American Living (a Ralph Lauren line created for Penney's) and a long psychedelic muumuu of a style generally worn by Rachel Zoe. Each was around $80; each fit nicely and looked good. I didn't buy either because I can do better for $80, but if I were a size 18, I'd have rejoiced." Yeah, we get it, you're a skinny bitch.)

And that brings us to our very own Degrassi Junior High (the original version)-worthy teaching moment...

Just because the cool kids are doing it, it doesn't mean you should too. Yes, all those of you who have respected media outlets, brands, or whatever, the coolest kids might be writing snarky and nasty but devastatingly accurate little articles that we read gleefully from our cubicles (I don't even watch The Real Housewives, but when Richard Lawson over at Gawker writes about them, it is pure bliss.), but that doesn't mean it's a good look for you.

For a brief, shining moment you might bask in some cool-kid glow, but then reality returns, and everyone sees you for what you are: someone without respect or authority.

Really, NYT, we expect so much better.

4 Steps to Brand Recovery: Regaining Consumer Loyalty after a Brand Crisis

Last week, I sat down to chat with a friend who I hadn't spoken to in nearly a year. The friendship didn't end well--there were complications to say the least--but he reached out to make amends, explain things, and start over. A few years ago, I may have rebuffed these attempts at reconciliation, but in the name of maturity and personal growth, I decided to hear him out. At the very least, I thought, I may get something useful out of the chat.

I did: a blog post.

As we treaded carefully through the steps of explanation, forgiveness, and some finger pointing, I realized that the art of forgiving and forgetting in personal relationships is really no different than returning to a product after an incident (like when I threw up a tuna sandwich from Miami Subs), or a much-needed break (yes, you can OD on Honey Bunches of Oats). And because brands have to survive the occasional maelstroms of bad press and social media turmoil that can turn thousands, if not millions, of brand loyalists away, there must be a system in place that allows them to win their once-loyal followers back.

The most recent disgusting and gag-worthy example of a brand loyalty test comes in the form of the YouTube video from two Domino's employees. We all saw it, or at least heard about it. One Domino's employee in North Carolina prepped sandwiches and pizza for delivery while putting cheese up his nose, mucus on the sandwiches, and rubbing other food all over his body, especially on his naughty bits. The other employee recorded and narrated the scene. Domino's was blindsided and a company spokesman said that, "Even people who've been with us as loyal customers for 10, 15, 20 years...are second-guessing their relationship with Domino's, and that's not fair." Fair? Probably not, but the cringe factor alone is enough to make a person think twice before chowing down on a MeatZZA Feast.

So what can companies do to minimize the time consumers stay away? A lot.

Provide a place for them to vent (or rave) about you
First, as a preventive measure, tried-and-true brands (ahem, Motrin) must establish their own social media presence if they are going to have any chance at combating this type of fallout. Consumers need a place to both laud and lambaste a brand, and if the company can provide the forum, they have a better chance at controlling (some of) the message. Gretel explained how large companies can integrate social media into their traditional marketing campaigns here, so I won't retread her fantastically-written steps. Read it for yourself. I promise you'll learn something.

Admit it
A primary step in the road to recovery for just about anything is admitting that there's a problem. Doing so quickly and maturely goes a long way in making things right. Companies, even more likely to want to save face, may not admit wrongdoing or missteps right off the bat. Amazon's "glitch" on a Sunday in April 2009 rendered gay-themed books unranked and therefore unsearchable and unavailable. The company took two days to address the issue, and in the meantime, the "#amazonfail" tag on Twitter was among the most popular topics on the site. Affected authors started a petition to boycott Amazon and as of Monday afternoon, they had over 18,000 signatures. Not good.

The big lessons here are that consumers never sleep, and if social media has made the spread of good news fast, it's made the spread of bad news even faster. Companies should have people on staff--newbies, interns, outside agencies, whoever--who are in the trenches listening to what's being said about the company. The sooner a company learns about a problem, the sooner it can admit it and take steps to fix it.

Just a tip: Get creative. Sure, a video is easy to produce and broadcast, but a boring corporate video response probably won't help much unless it's just as dramatic and gossip-worthy as the offense that prompted it.

Say "I'm Sorry" and Mean It
JetBlue's screw up in 2007 seems like ages ago, but I don't think that most of the passengers who were stranded on runways for 11 hours are rushing back to the airline for free Terra Blues any time soon. Still, JetBlue's quick action, public apology, and genuine regret over the incident helped them back-pedal just enough to win the JD Power & Associates Award for #1 Customer Satisfaction for the airline industry that year. Crazy, right?

This worked because the genuineness did not only come in the form of words, but actions. The company established a Passenger Bill of Rights that was retroactive to the date of the screw up, spent an estimated $20-30 million to appease the thousands of angry customers, and pledged to revamp its plans and backup plans so that nothing like it ever happens again. If you're going to say, "I'm sorry," show it, don't just say it.

Revamp your image (for real)-and make it stick
Like that crazy high school friend who is now reformed, a company known for a murky or unappealing past should take special care when revamping its weak image, lest it seem disingenuous. Simply keeping the status quo is not acceptable, nor is becoming something you're not. Instead, become the company your customers want you to be. The aforementioned JetBlue fiasco was as big as it was because they were expected to be number one in customer service-the company had built itself around that ideal. To fix it, JetBlue had to go above and beyond where they were before.

Though it seems a little old school now, let's go back to when Target stores rebranded from Kmart status to what it is today: Tarj-ay. Knowing that a fancy ad campaign can't sustain a company that has little to offer, Target took special care to differentiate itself from its competitors. By cutting expenses, the company was able to offer high-quality merchandise at low margins, rather than low prices on cheap merchandise. It worked. Target stores tend to attract younger, more educated, and more affluent customers than its competitors and even though its newer advertisements focus on low prices (the "Hello/Good Buy" ad comes to mind), the quality of Target stores still stands out. Because the company had the goods to back it up, Target morphed its humdrum discount store image into a shining example of smart, trendy shopping on a budget.

So that's it. It sounds easier than it really is, but take the lessons of Domino's, Motrin, Amazon, JetBlue, and Target to heart. There are ways to get yourself (or your company) out of a tough situation--by being aware of it, coming clean, apologizing, and truly reforming--but you better be sincere about it.

And as for my personal experiences: no, I will probably not ever eat from Miami Subs again, I'll likely OD again on Honey Bunches of Oats at some point in the near future, and my friend and I seem to be on the road to recovery.

Got Talent?

International jetsetter that I am (cough, cough), I was in London last weekend. I stayed with a friend who lives there so I had the pleasure of being privy to his British television preferences. In this case, that means Britain's Got Talent. (Which might be better called, Britain's Got Talent?, as in, the title is pronounced with an uplifted, wishful intonation rather than as a statement of fact.) The big excitement of the two episodes (two of the five semi-final episodes) was the much-celebrated Susan Boyle, who was back for her second performance after her dark-horse, come-from-behind showing in round one.

 

 

Susan Boyle. For the past few weeks she has been the darling of the media and of the public. You probably know the story:  awkward spinster who lives with her cats (hey, don't knock it till you try it...) gets up in front of the camera and an unforgiving audience. People snicker and assume she has no talent because, apparently, the vast majority of people are pretty much shallow. She opens her mouth and sings and turns out to have some talent. OMG! People all over the world -- those who, one can only assume, have never read a book, taken anything away from religion, seen Shrek, or simply existed in the world -- are forced to admit that someone who looks like a frightful mess can still actually have other stuff going on.

Let the YouTube → Social Media → Oprah effect begin.

Next up? The backlash.

Really, it was inevitable. Because underneath it all, Susan Boyle is not particularly talented. Yes, she has a very nice voice, but so do lots of people you know. And once you get over the fact that something attractive can come from something unattractive, you arrive at a very simple conclusion: Susan Boyle is unremarkable.

So what lesson does that hold for all of us? Well, that the public can be fickle, cruel, generous, momentarily smitten, whatever, but while people get momentarily excited about something that shakes them out of their normal routines or expectations, in the end, they generally recognize a product or person for what it really is. (Well, maybe except in politics. Hello? Sarah Palin...) In the end, Susan Boyle is a not particularly attractive person with a nice-but-not-great talent who is very socially awkward and hard to love.

And let that, marketers, be a lesson to you. Sure, the public prefers good-looking people to unattractive ones; the talented to the untalented; the socially adept to the socially inept -- all of which should be taken into consideration when creating your awesome video or a cool Facebook application or some game on your site that earns raves from advertisers and gamers alike. You might even create something that goes "viral" and gets a ton of "buzz." I'm happy for you, really. But if you're going to create so much superficial hype, you'd better have the substance to back it all up when the sparkle fades. Because people are still always going to come back to the reality of your product.

While people's standards of quality and likeability inevitably vary, there are certain standards that are always going to hold a lot more sway than others. Like is this product well made?  Is your service making my life easier?   Does this seem like an honest, informed company?  Is Susan Boyle's voice really any more remarkable than mine when I sang that Rihanna song in the shower this morning?  What you produce may not be sexy or glamorous, but if it's made well, it's going to drive loyalty that's worth a lot more than any insta-celebrity.

So use social media, embrace the Internet, get out there and give people cool stuff, but know that it's not magic. It's not a flash-in-the-pan, get-in-get-out campaign that will -- poof! -- generate lots of new customers for your company who are going to stick around for the rest of their lives. Nope. That still comes the hard way -- by being truly exceptional.

 

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Marketing and the Art of Speed Dating*

Let's pretend for the sake of this blog post that I went to speed dating at Kush Lounge last night for research reasons, and not because of the nagging-but loving-voice of my Jewish mother. As a public relations and marketing project manager, it is important to stay current with marketing trends and methods and speed dating is based on a unique and difficult kind of sell. Daters have between three and eight minutes, last night it was four, to put his or her best foot forward in the hopes of earning a second, longer date.

The concept was originated by the Aish HaTorah Rabbi Yaacov Deyo in an effort to find a modern day alternative to Yente the Matchmaker. The process itself is efficient and mostly pain-free so the idea took hold and a culture of speed dating was born. It's been portrayed in movies like Hitch and The 40-Year-Old Virgin as well as TV shows like Sex and the City and a particular favorite of mine, Gilmore Girls. Though usually done with comedy in mind, these on-screen speed dates are often too close to the truth. But because my mother raised her daughters with the notion that "every guy is someone's baby...he just wants to meet someone," I'm fairly open-minded, empathetic and sympathetic to the dater across the table, especially if the guy is dressed up well beyond his comfort zone because his mother told him to do so. Even still, it is truly astounding what passes for a "good sell" these days.

And so, I will connect speed dating to marketing in an attempt to expense my Hurrydate.com registration.

Put your best foot forward. While this seems obvious to most people in the business and dating worlds, "best" travels across a frighteningly long range. To their credit, most of the daters at the event were well-groomed for their night out, so the issue was not their looks, but their attitudes. Before Joseph even sat down, he uttered about ten curse words about the ubiquitous camerawoman who was there for a "dating in the recession story." Now, I wasn't thrilled to be a local news feature either, but it's important to make light of an annoying situation, especially within the first few minutes of talking to someone. If a potential client sees you unhinged or cursing before a relationship can begin, you can bet your business card will be lining the bottom of a trash can before you can say, "Please recycle."

Maintain focus. At one point in the night, I wasn't sure if my "date" was looking at my nametag or my chest (isn't there another place to stick those things?), and his distraction was, well, distracting. Maintaining eye contact is the key to making a good impression and also lets the other person know that you're listening to what he or she has to say. And don't fidget with your Blackberry, iPhone, or tie when talking to a date, potential client, partner, or customer. Networking, like speed dating, puts tremendous emphasis on first impressions. If you're distracted, you'll likely miss opportunities to make an important and worthwhile connection.

Don't try to be something you're not. Case in point was Dennis, a very sweet, mildly attractive guy who seemed to have signed up for the wrong kind of speed dating event. With all of his polished and polite attributes, he'll be a great fit for some guy out there. You see, speed dating does for singles what advertisements and public relations do for businesses. It's a way of saying, "Look! I'm here! I'm available and I can offer you such and such." In business (as in dating), you must be clear on the "such and such." It's important not to stretch the truth about who you really are and what you can offer. If you do, you'll end up scrambling to please a client who you shouldn't have worked with in the first place.

Don't fake enthusiasm. A healthy amount of excitement and enthusiasm is naturally built in to a first meeting or brainstorming session-there's really no reason to go overboard. Bryan uttered the word "Really?!?" so many times that I felt like I was in the Weekend Update segment where Seth Meyers (and at one time Amy Poehler too) makes a mockery of the ridiculousness of some current event. Only unfortunately this time, it wasn't funny and really unfortunately, Seth Meyers wasn't there. Enthusiasm, when it's genuine, can be a great help to landing a deal, making a sale, or scoring a date. Trust me on this one, when it's contrived, everyone can tell. If you're genuine, your client will likely trust you a whole lot more.

Dare to be different. And finally, make sure you're different enough from the next guy (or girl) so that even when there's an assembly line of potential, you stand out. Due to reasons beyond everyone's control, there were two guys who looked pretty similar at the speed dating event. They were both attractive, had a similar build, and had identically styled their "unique" longish hair. The second guy also had the bad luck of having the same name as the guy next to him, and so despite his best efforts, he only served to confuse the legion of girls he met. Businesses should work not only to be the best in their chosen field, but stand out from the pack. The fact is that anyone can be an "expert," a "consultant," or have long hair. It's how you use your unique position in business that will lead to success.

I can't tell you if my speed dating was successful because I won't get my matches back until tomorrow. Whether or not the matches come pouring in (or whether or not I want them to anyway), speed dating was an exercise in small talk, meeting new people, and engaging people whom I would not, in other situations, have given the time of day. What business and dating ultimately come down to is one's ability to sell-themselves, their company, or their product-and speed dating can be a crash course in acquiring the necessary skills. But, if you're not successful on your next speed dating excursion, just keep in mind that as my mother, like my grandmother before her, always says, "There is a cover for every pot." Even if you just want your "date" to put a lid on it.

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

When a blanket-with-sleeves is more than just a blanket…with sleeves

The latest obsession to hit the Channel V Media offices is not the best new marketing tool or hottest social media fit; it's, undeniably, the Snuggie. This odd blanket-with-sleeves has capitalized on winter, a weak economy, and plain old human curiosity to sell over 4 million units. Yes, 4 million people are now being warmed by the piece of "fabric" (more on that later) that was described by an incensed shopper at Walgreen's as "a backwards robe."

AdAge has even picked up on the phenomenon from the all-important business angle and as a PR/marketing firm, CVM must admit that the Snuggie fell in with a good crowd. YouTubers have latched on with parodies, members of The Today Show crew were swaddled in Snuggies last week, and a Google search for "snuggie" returns an unfathomable number of results. It just goes to show that for all of the metrics and precise marketing, sometimes you just don't know what's going to work. We're not too proud to admit that had this come our way, we probably would have accepted the freebies, but wouldn't have taken on the account. Sure we're forward-thinking, but you can understand why even our keen foresight was tested by the Snuggie.

Frighteningly, I haven't been able to find out what exactly makes a Snuggie so snuggly aside from the "super soft, thick, luxurious fleece." And since I'm the one in the office who is most apt to read ingredient labels, this really concerns me. Even more so because the Snuggie commercial features a happy family in long-sleeve Snuggies roasting marshmallows on short sticks very close to a campfire. In fact, you are probably witnessing their final moments before they go up in "super soft, thick, luxurious" flames.

Which brings me to my next point: the similarities between the luxurious Snuggie and the flowing garb of the Roman Catholic monk are hard to ignore. While the jury is still out, I'm wondering if this is not some scheme by Ron Howard, Tom Hanks, and Sony Pictures to promote Angels & Demons, in theaters May 15 (shout out, Rustin). But since the Snuggie predates the movie (though not the book...hmm), this could be a marketing move by the Catholic Church to revamp their image after, well, you know. At any rate, I'm willing to put down ten bucks that a disproportionate percentage of Snuggie-philes are wearing these things into confessional. ("Forgive me father for I have sinned. Seriously, check out my outfit." Something like that anyway.)

For all of its success, the Snuggie was not the first incarnation of a blanket-with-sleeves. But, as my friend Cory once told me, "There was Yahoo! before there was Google," and being first doesn't always translate to market domination. The Slanket came out in 1998 to much less fanfare and despite its heavy use of content and description (aha, it is made of "100% Polyester Microfibers (Big words for Super-Soft)") on its site and its eleven, yes, eleven, color options, it remains far behind the Snuggie in popularity and sales. The Slanket also donates a portion of its sales to charity which may or may not up the cool factor, depending on your worldview. (And according to recent research by Story Worldwide, donations to charity and tax breaks don't persuade consumers anyway. Sorry, Slanket.)

On that note, at Channel V Media we like rooting for the underdog, so I implore you to take your fascination with the Snuggie and turn it toward the Slanket. It's not the subject of parody or daytime TV, it doesn't come with the Snuggie's fancy book light and it does recognize that you may become a walking (or laying) fire hazard upon donning it, but when it comes right down to it, all you really need is big (cotton) sweatshirt anyway.

P.S. Hey, Slanket founder-it's 19 degrees in NYC today, but "feels like" 8. We wouldn't mind a little love.

Why “Truth in Advertising” Eludes Some People

Formerly titled: Random things I thought about while hanging out in Indianapolis with my parents for the holidays...

"Truth in advertising" is somewhat of an outdated phrase considering that advertising itself is in purgatory. Authenticity, loyalty and compassion have largely replaced old-fashioned manipulation tactics, but to those who grew up with traditional advertising, cynicism still mars their relationship with anything even slightly promotional.

In other words: many people are so conditioned not to believe the messages out there, that even in the face of honesty and transparency, they respond with hostility and doubt.

Here's a real life example:

My dad works in foreclosures (which is, for obvious reasons, a really hot market right now). Considering he gets all of his new properties directly from the bank or the courthouse, the last thing he's ever looking for is a new client. What this means for my dad-a man who thrives on tasteless humor, who loves to shock people with his severe political incorrectness, and who doesn't abide to other people's opinions of what's appropriate*-is that he gets to have fun with his property listings, all in the name of self-amusement.

Everyone knows that the best comedians use "reality" as their muse. So, being a pretty comedy-savvy guy, my dad approaches the writing of his property listings from a similar angle: he tells the truth. The interesting thing about this, though, is that people don't seem to get it. Below are a few of his recent listings, each followed by a response he got from a confused real estate agent. Remember, these are just listings-not direct solicitations to anyone in particular.

Property Description: Here's one for the diehard investor who's willing to love the unlovable. She's a wallflower, for sure, and waiting to be asked to dance. Buy low, make some moolah, and thank me later. Room sizes are estimated. Property will be sold as-is. The garage is nothing to get excited about. It will probably respond best to a bulldozer, but the house is a project that can result in an increase in your bank account.

Realtor Response: "If you tell people the house is ugly, they're not going to be interested."

 

Property Description: Nice older home on 5 acres, plus detached garage with two auto doors. One door is suitable for an RV. There is enough room to park about six cars. You could also use it for just a couple cars and then make the guests sleep in the extra space. Make them clean the workshop while they're out there-that'll teach them to overstay their welcome. The house is in average condition. You could move right in. You missed swimming season, but there is an in-ground pool. Enjoy country peace and quiet, but very close to Lebanon and Indy. Room sizes estimated. Sold as-is.

Realtor Response: "Are you serious about making guests sleep in the garage?? That's just mean."

 

Property Description: Large home on beautiful wooded lot in premium neighborhood. No major repairs required. Some minor repairs and updating will help. There are rooms everywhere. In face, I lost an assistant in here. If you find her, please send her back to the office. Room sizes are estimated; property will be sold as-is. The floorplan gives you the opportunity for privacy, home office, or a workshop. Great for entertaining and large family dinners (I like turkey).

Realtor Response: "My client is looking for a house that doesn't need any work."

 

Property Description: Nice little bungalow with a detached garage. Has A/C, updated kitchen and bathroom. Room sizes are estimated. There's very little work to do here. Just a little basic TLC and then move on in. Life in Lebanon is just like West Palm Beach-OK, I'm lying but life here is a lot cheaper and the neighbors are nice. Property will be sold as-is. Master bedroom has a nice sitting room attached to it-perfect for nursery or office. Or, when your husband snores like a warthog, you can make him sleep in there.

Realtor Response: "Why would you even bother comparing Lebanon, IN to Florida? Buyers are just going to be reminded of how crappy their new town is."

Property Description: Fully-fenced yard for kids, pets, in-laws or used car lots. The neighbors will hate you but you might pick up a few extra bucks. Corner lot. The house only needs cosmetic improvements. I didn't see anything major to do here. Room sizes are estimated. Property will be sold as-is.

Realtor Response: "I don't think I'll be recommending my clients keep their kids in the backyard, thanks."

*Anyone who knows me knows that I lack the proverbial filter from brain to mouth. Now they might understand where this trait came from.

Talk to Me... (Or 10 Ways to Survive the Hideousness of a Networking Event)

Last night was one of those nights of networking that come with the small business/public relations/marketing territory. Gretel and I headed downtown to an Inc. event that was filled with entrepreneurs (because the event was for entrepreneurs, duh), and from the moment we walked in the door it was clear that this was going to be a networking session extraordinaire.

After signing in and getting our big yellow name tags (I stuck mine to my thigh since I was wearing a scarf, which, Gretel was quick to inform me, was something she did in, like, junior high.), we made our way to an upper floor of the Scholastic Building. Always eager to network, we made a beeline for the bar and then detoured to the food. If there were people around during this process, we failed to notice. Unless they were carrying trays of food. We have our priorities straight.

Once we'd had plenty of time to get food stuck in our teeth, we set out to talk to our fellow entrepreneurs. And pretty quickly hit a wall. The room, by this point, was packed. Where to even begin? Should we aim for other women entrepreneurs? Those who seemed like they might be in need of our services? The hottest ones? Groups or individuals?

Before we could get very far, we were enlisted as interview subjects for a video for a business school on being an entrepreneur. Networking postponed...

By the time we re-entered the fray, Gretel and I were finally ready. In all fairness, we kind of had it easy since we were a pair-that, coupled with a glass of wine, made networking seem pretty easy.

We took the plunge...

When we came up for air an hour or so later, we had some pretty clear thoughts on the how-tos, dos and don'ts of networking. (You know, because we're never at a loss for an opinion here at Channel V...)

1. I know people always say go to these things alone so that you're forced to talk to others, but quite frankly, I say take an ally. Someone who also wants to meet people-not your best friend-and who makes you feel comfortable. Most people get so stressed out about meeting new people that their anxiety overwhelms everything else. Do what you need to do to feel more comfortable and be yourself.

2. I know there are people who say you should never drink at work events because it takes you out of your professional mode, but I think, great. Within reason, you should do the things that will put you at ease (see #1)-for me that means a glass of wine and a few hors d'oeuvres. Otherwise, I feel like I'm at an interview rather than a social gathering, and I can't help but be stiffer, more formal and less like myself. Which only makes conversation harder, since it does not do much to help put other people at ease.

3. Keep in mind that most everyone else is socially awkward and uncomfortable too. I have yet to come across anyone at an event who has been anything less than friendly or willing to meet someone new. It's not like you're navigating cliques at the country club-everyone is there to meet new people. And if it starts going badly see #6.

4. Do not only talk about your job. Yes, obviously, we're all here for job-related reasons, but surely there are other topics you can cover. For me, the nicest moments at any networking event come when I talk to someone like a friend.

5. Don't undertake a 20-minute monologue on your entrepreneurial history from the moment you started your first lemonade stand in kindergarten. I...don't...care. Unless it's funny. But even then, you're really here to meet people not to talk about yourself. Take a breath. Sip your wine. Ask about the other people you're with.

6. Draw people into your conversation. Once you have to good fortune of being drawn into a group so that you're not standing awkwardly by yourself in your Benetton sweater hoping someone will ask you to dance...oh, wait...wrong memory.... Anyway, once you're in a chatty group, be aware of other people around you who might be looking to join a conversation. Needless to say, they'll be relieved, but they'll also bring a new perspective and voice to your discussion. They also make it easier for you to graciously bow out of your current situation, and meet new people.

7. Stop thinking about how the people you meet can help you. Instead, listen, ask questions, be interested just for the sake of being interested. Not every person you meet is going to be a new client or a helpful connection, and they don't really need to be. Honestly, my most memorable conversation of the evening was with Caroline, a tattoo artist from New Jersey, who is in the midst of trying to figure out how to open an upscale gallery/tattoo shop in the Atlantic Highlands. How cool is that?

8. Don't check your BlackBerry. Gretel....

9. Remember to take plenty of business cards. Note to self....

10. When Inc. reporters come by with a camera and ask to interview you after you've had two glasses of wine, you should probably say no. But I'll save that post for when the video comes out...

If Only the Government Ran Our New Biz Initiatives

Okay, even though I promised myself that I wouldn't write about politics anymore, I just can't help myself. I'm not a political buff by any stretch, but I am completely obsessed with this election and the bailout drama series.

I, like many, thought that congress was kidding when they initially announced a 3-page bailout plan. They could, at the very least, make it a solid, round number, say, 5-pages? After all, this is $700 billion we're talking about here.

Days later, 3-pages became 100-pages and I figured that they had just fleshed out the original plan with empty words the way Sarah Palin fleshes out her non-answers by repeating the same answer, yet rearranging the words ever so slightly, over and over again in national interviews (sorry, couldn't help myself). Boy was I wrong! Congress really sweetened the deal...that is, if you're a filmmaker, a wooden arrow maker, a NASCAR track builder or a company like Harley Davidson.* Because isn't that what this bailout is all about? Filmmakers? Wooden arrows? Racetracks and motorcycles? If you answered no, then clearly you haven't been paying attention.

Of course, this got me to thinking of some of the new business proposals we write. Every now and then, we'll put together a 3 or 4-page proposal for a prospect and think to ourselves, "Gee, I know we've covered all the bases but let's not forget that quantity always trumps quality. This proposal would probably be a lot more impressive if we could just add a few pages." And so we go to fatten that baby up with non sequitors and hyperbole. The government, however, has really inspired us to implement a new strategy: Skip the hyperbole and add the fat.

Here are some things we're going to keep in our artillery next time one of our proposals falls a few pages short:

• For every $15, 367 you spend with us, we will give you a lint brush.
• Each third Tuesday of every fourth month, we'll send you one 1,000 mg Flax Seed Oil capsule.
• If you listen to Dvorak's "New World" CD when showering after running on the treadmill, we'll make a $5 donation to the charity of your choice--that is, as long as that charity does not support the study of any type of frontal lobe-based cancerous tumors.
• Does your name start with a vowel? You're in luck. Clients meeting this criteria are privy to our shoe-shining service (which we house at the Phoenix airport).
• Clients who spent six or more years of their childhoods or teen years studying either ballet or violin are exempt from shipping fees exceeding $7.00

And obviously the list goes on because we really do care about our clients. Interested in seeing more of these deal-sweeteners? We'll send you a list for free if anyone in your immediately family raises Cornish hens...in Cornwall, England, of course.

*The bailout bill includes tax credits worth $8.3 billion a year for companies such as Microsoft Corp. and Harley-Davidson Inc. It will save Nascar track builders $109 million this year. Over the next decade, movie and television producers who shoot films in the United States will receive two tax breaks worth $478 million. The legislation would allow filmmakers to qualify for a 3 percentage-point reduction from the 35 percent top tax rate approved in 2004 for domestic manufacturers.

And let's not forget the wooden arrows. The arrows provision seeks to reverse an anomaly in a 2004 law that created the 39 cent excise tax on the weapons. Intended the levy more expensive arrows, the tax also applies to arrows used by Boy Scouts and other youth organizations that cost about 30 cents a piece. You see, it's all about the youth...

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