Presentation of Bailout Plan Defies Cardinal Rule of Marketing

When Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced that congress had devised a 100-page bailout plan on Sunday evening, she made one grave mistake that no doubt made savvy marketers everywhere cringe: Pelosi, caught up in talking about the steps taken by congress (her company), forgot to talk about how the plan would benefit mainstream Americans (consumers). And as such, Americans weren't sold on the plan. This isn't surprising.

Of course, Pelosi was not alone in this. She was one of many messengers who didn't deliver an effective message as to how this would help the average American (Paulson and Bush being two others that immediately come to mind). In fact, while the plan may indeed be a necessary evil, the first person to give us any details as to how it would directly affect us was Jim Cramer on The Today Show Monday morning.

Consumers don't want to hear a glory rant about your capabilities or the nitty gritty details of your CEO's past accomplishments, nor do they want to read a 100-page description of your services; they want to know how you can help them:

How can you solve my problem? What resources are you offering me? You've given me no reason to trust you yet, so why should I ? Even more, sometimes the consumer doesn't even know what his/her problem is. That's something you'll also need to define. In the case of Pelosi and congress, they did neither.

What could Pelosi and the rest of congress learn from smart marketers next time they want the public to support a new bill (or anything else they say for that matter)?

If you only talk about yourself, no one will listen.
Joe Pulizzi over at the Junta42 blog explains it like this: So many times businesses want to talk about their products and services, or position one of their executives as an expert. That's all fine and good, but if your communications do not meet the informational needs of the individual, they'll be ignored.

You must tell your story and it must be authentic. - Story Worldwide
I'm not sure what Pelosi meant when she declared the following, but to me it seemed highly ironic if not a complete lie. Here's what she said: "Our message to Wall Street is this: the party is over. The era of golden parachutes for high-flying Wall Street operators is over. No longer will the US taxpayer bail out the recklessness of Wall Street. The taxpayers who bear the risk in this recovery must share in the upside as the economy recovers."

Here's what I heard: "We're bailing out Wall Street which sends a clear-as-day message that we're not going to bail out Wall Street."

Huh? My mind translates assertions such as this in one of two ways: True. Not true. And I highly doubt I'm alone on this. Why waste your breath? Why not use the same amount of time to tell us something relevant about the plan?

When pitching new business, you have to cater to the fears and problems of your prospect.
Tom Searcy, who teaches his SMB clients how to land disproportionately larger accounts, could give Pelosi a lesson on how to deliver her message a whole lot more effectively by first figuring out what fears the American public has in relation to this plan and an economic downturn, and second, how this plan could quell those fears. Problem solved.

Bottom line: if politicians weren't so busy talking about themselves, they could probably learn a lot from what their constituencies are saying.

Hanging Out With Everyone… (The Namedropping Edition)

...in which I live shamelessly and vicariously through others.

Two weeks ago I was walking to the subway, wondering why I never see any celebrities in my neighborhood. After all, I live in the W. Village where the walls of every shop and restaurant are bedecked by autographed pictures of their high profile clientele.

Since I'm easily impressed by such things, I figured who better than me to get a few sightings? Alas, my existence is pretty celebrity-free. Or, at least, it was.

My spree of celebrity sightings began that night at bobo, where my sister and I sat right next to Seann William Scott of American Pie fame. Yep, it was the Stifler. He was with an Italian friend, Ian, who told us all about Cinque Terre, a group of five villages on the Italian Riviera where I was coincidentally going to visit a week later. My sister and I didn't want to give the Stifler the satisfaction of knowing that we knew who he was-not because he was rude by any means, but because we're weird like that-so we kept on chatting for a while longer. Finally, not able to ignore the elephant in the room...

"You're the Stifler, aren't you?" I asked.
"Well, that's just a character," he said. "That's not reality."
"Obviously."

He'd used this line before to some known effect. I think I was supposed to feel silly for bringing this up. I didn't, but either way, he seemed like a nice kind of guy overall.

He'd used this line before to some known effect. I think I was supposed to feel silly for bringing this up. I didn't, but either way, he seemed like a nice kind of guy overall.

The next night, we headed over to the Spotted Pig. Standing in front of the restaurant was Jay-Z, chatting on his cell phone. Even though I only got a glimpse of him, I was feeling pretty excited about this sudden spurt of celebrity-luck. Minutes later, he headed back upstairs where he sat with Stephanie Izard, winner of the fourth season of Top Chef, and a few suits.

On Wednesday, I went to Blue Ribbon and sat with my favorite bartender James, who was not really impressed with my news. He pulled out his cellphone and showed me pictures of him with Scarlett Johansson and Bill Clinton. "Fine, you win."

Nothing Thursday.

On Friday morning, the boyfriend and I headed over to JFK where we were leaving for our much-needed vacation. I bought a new copy of Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children, which I read half last year before leaving it at a candy shop at O'Hare in Chicago. We then decided to have breakfast in the British Airways lounge where the man himself was sitting right across the way from us. I nudged the boyfriend.

"Look, look... It's Salman Rushdie!"
"Oh yeah, I've seen him out in London before, back when the Fatwa was after him," said the boyfriend unfazed, unimpressed.

Nothing Saturday.

On Sunday night, in London, the boyfriend and I had dinner at the new Club at the Ivy, which is said to be the city's ‘poshest' new lounge. Again, I'm easily impressed by this kind of stuff, but I couldn't take it too seriously since I'm not from there. The boyfriend tried to relate how cool it was and how all of London wanted to be invited to a membership. Evidently there were also some British TV stars sitting right by us, too, but again, I didn't recognize them so it wasn't that exciting. As we walked down, we saw the manager, who we knew from a past restaurant.

"Kate Moss is serenading the bar," he said nonchalantly.

"Kate? Moss? Where?"

I quickly wrapped my jacket tightly around myself: I was wearing a piece from Kate Moss's new Topshop line and-I don't know why-but I didn't want her to see it. As it turns out, however, she wasn't paying much attention to me. Instead, she was holding the place captive with a little drunken diddy.

This was fantastic! I looked around the room to see how these posh people were reacting and was pleasantly surprised to find them acting how I was in front of the Stifler: trying not to be rude and stare, but kind of unable to help it at the same time. Even the poshest of the post can't help but be gauche in the face of Kate Moss!

Not that I would've dreamt of taking a picture, but the boyfriend knows what I'm capable of so he warned me right away that it would be very tacky of me to do so.

"Oh, shut up. I wouldn't think of it. I'm just grabbing my blackberry so I can email everyone I know!" This, of course, being the polite and polished alternative.

...The best citing, however, was by design and happened a few days later. We met with Tim Wallace-Murphy, author of 11 or 12 books on the Knights Templar, the Freemasons, and related topics ("I can't remember if I've written 12 or if my next one will be the twelfth").

The boyfriend is a huge Knights Templar buff and has even been on a grail quest through France ("before The DaVinci Code was but a speck in Dan Brown's eye"). Tim Wallace-Murphy was his partner on one such quest, so when we were in Nice, where Tim lives, we were thrilled to meet with him for lunch.

Tim's book (with co-author Marilyn Hopkins), Rosslyn: Guardians of the Secret of the Holy Grail, is the second reference in Dan Brown's bibliography for The DaVinci Code. Needless to say, listening to Tim describe some of his adventures (getting captured by a Russian pirate ship) and his thoughts on religion ("there's one constant lesson spanning all religions: do unto others as you'd want others to do unto you"), was a whole lot more interesting than hearing the Stifler wax poetic about the difference between movies and reality; speculating about a possible restaurant partnership between Jay-Z and Stephanie from Top Chef; and wondering when Kate Moss last ate.

Salman Rushdie, though, he was special.

I figure I've lost my audience at this point, so stay tuned for the next installment. If all goes as planned, I'll have more to report on Tim Wallace-Murphy sooner than later.

Bob Guccione Jr. (And Our Clients!) Define The Future of Media

About a month ago we shared details of our night out with Bob Guccione Jr. At that time, Bob was at the tail end of his guest editorship with Media magazine, for which he was curating the 'Future of Media' special issue. Last night we attended the launch party for the issue (more on that later today) and were able to snag a few copies for the office.

There are two things that really standout about the issue: First, four of our clients are quoted in it (yayy!) and second, Bob's article titled "A Town Without Media." Bob spent some time with an Amish community in Intercourse, PA to find out more about people who don't rely on a daily media fix to get by.

While the Amish do prohibit most media, Bob found out that they do read newspapers minimally and even publish one of their own, The Budget, which has an associated Web site. I won't give away the rest of the article, which is a "must-read" but I do want to share one of my favorite lines. In describing the difference between the Old Order Amish and the Mennonites, Bob writes:

The Old Order believes that the New Birth, our reunion into the fullness of God's love, comes at death, that life is a journey toward that fulfillment. The other group believes that the New Birth comes with adult baptism, when a person choosees a life devoted to God. The Mennonites are just plain wild. They'll let you photograph them.

Hee. Hee.

And because I'm shameless, I've scanned our clients' quotes below. A recap of the party will be up later!

Truthiness Redux

I know, I know. I'm hopelessly obsessed with politics. I can't help myself. I went away for a little mini vacay over Labor Day weekend, and what did I end up doing? First I watched the Democratic National Convention. I thought that would be the end of it, but no... Of course, John McCain had to choose that Friday to announce his vice presidential pick, so I spent my entire weekend glued to CNN, the NY Times, political blogs, you name it.

Needless to say, I wanted to hear what The Daily Show had to say about the whole affair. Jon Stewart and his crack team of nerd researchers (that's really what they are-these people have to watch hours-days-of footage to find the right clips) did not disappoint. The target? Hypocrisy, mixed messages, out-and-out double standards. Take a look...

Now I know that in 2004, everyone was quick to jump on the John Kerry "flipflopper" bandwagon, but there's a real difference between evolving ideologies and opinions-a reality for anyone who matures (Seriously. One of my parents actually voted for Nixon.)-and slick, rapidly shifting messages of convenience. I think we can all agree that most thinking people have been known to change certain opinions over time: after all, the more a person learns, the more s/he realizes that many issues are decidedly more complex than they may have at first seemed. Surprise, surprise, Republican or Democrat, new perspectives can take shape.

But there's a real difference between an evolving understanding and a message that blatantly shifts depending on the audience. Think someone who's the mayor of a small city isn't qualified to be VP? Think teen pregnancy's not such a great idea? Those aren't positions that change overnight. Let's be honest... No, really, let's be honest. It's hard to get caught (and don't worry, you will get caught-someone's always watching) in a lie when you decide to stick to a consistent, honest message. The whole "truthiness" thing? It's funny because it's ridiculous. Is that the image you're going for? Didn't think so...

That's where authenticity comes in. We're big fans of it around here. What you see is what you get. Do you really want your brand to be associated with "truthiness"? To be called out for having double standards or mixed messages? It's hard to create brand loyalty when your company is guilty of slick messaging, half truths, or strong-arm attempts to control media. Create a great product, lead your industry with compelling ideas, respond to your customers' needs and concerns.

Authenticity. Now that's change we can believe in.

Hanging Out With Elaine Wong of Brandweek...

Our relationship with Elaine started as many oft do...over the Internet. We found her on ProfNet (sorry, Peter) where she submitted a query that was right up our alley. That was about two months ago, right after she moved to NYC from Philly. The rest is pretty much history...

After going back and forth over email, we decided that it was time to finally meet Elaine in person.

As always, our only prerequisite was a full bar. Not because we're lushes, we explained, but because we don't like beer or cheap wine. We agreed to meet at Republic in Union Square for Thai food. We sent over our stats: brown hair, black dress (which is evidently the unofficial CVM uniform). And she sent over hers: pink shirt, black pants and a Rihanna bob. We immediately wondered if she was one of those mythical people who actually went into the salon and ordered "The Rihanna." But 'twas not the case. Elaine explained that her hair is thick and wavy, and hard to manage in the summer, so the short hair was a matter of sensibility, not pop culture. We totally understood her pain.

Elaine drinks mojitos, something that under regular circumstances, we would consider a character flaw. (She first asked the waiter for a mango mojito, which is just tragic. Fortunately, he didn't have it). But even though she didn't pass the first part of the drink test, she did pass the second part, which is simply knowing what she likes to drink. It's really bad when someone doesn't know his/her drink; it's even worse when they order "what she's having." Anyway...

The points Elaine lost in the drink department, she gained in the ghost story department. Telling ghost stories is one of my favorite pastimes, and Elaine is just as freaked out by those suckers as I am.

There's some hotel outside of Philly that has a haunted room, "room #6," where the original owners are said to have died. The room's equipped with a Ouija board and has become a tourist attraction for ghost hunters and adventurists. Elaine interviewed a couple that stayed there, but unfortunately they didn't get to meet the ghosts. Just being in the room scared her and she could feel the eyes of their portrait staring at her the whole time, even though she admits it was probably just her imagination.

What else?

When Elaine last flew to China, her feet swelled so badly they didn't fit into her shoes. Her dad's a vegetarian, but her mom's not. Elaine's somewhere in the middle, mainly eating seafood and vegetables, but on occasion, chicken. She had the Pad Thai with calamari and shrimp.

Prior to starting at Brandweek, she was working at a trade publication in Philly where she reported on alternative advertising platforms (I think). Her commute to work is only 25 minutes and she usually brown-bags her lunch. She's quite happy at Brandweek and plans to stay there for a while. She's still trying to get used to how dirty New York City is but otherwise, doesn't seem too daunted by the place. Elaine speaks both Mandarin and Cantonese and when asked about the situation with Tibet, she didn't have much of an opinion either way as she doesn't know both sides of the story. Fair enough.

When a friend of hers left for the summer to study abroad, she left Elaine with her brand new pet hamster. Elaine was initially disturbed by the idea of having a rodent as a pet, but did it anyway. Her friend later informed her that she got her visa extended and that Elaine had to keep the hamster. The hamster was very well-behaved and often sat on the couch with her. By the time the hamster died, two years later, Elaine had become pretty attached to it. The average lifespan of a hamster is two years. While that seems a little bit rude of the friend, Elaine's definitely good people.

Do What We Say, Not As We Do!

Sadly but truly, we haven't been practicing what we preach lately. But let me explain...

I'm talking about our malnourished and lonely blog here. Whereas we stand on our pulpits and spout the virtues of blogging to our clients-telling them that they must post a minimum of two to three times a week to stay current and relevant to readers-we've been completely neglecting our own blog. Shame on us.

We have no excuses. Actually, yes we do. A few of them:

We're way too busy. Sure, this is the same excuse our clients give us (to which we respond, "that's not an excuse"), but we've gotten to the point where, despite our daydreams of blogging and eating cupcakes day in and day out, it's simply not humanly possible. We have very important stuff to do, like yelling at the construction workers tearing apart the building next door while we're on the phone. Again.

Despite our better wishes, writing about PR & Marketing isn't half as interesting as talking about ourselves on our personal blogs. Don't get me wrong, I could talk about my job all day and often I do. But when it comes to blogging, I'd rather talk about other things. For instance, of late I've been reminiscing about the days of yore when I used to talk about myself incessantly on my personal blog. Since I wrote anonymously, I could say anything I wanted to. People who know me know that there's no filter between my mouth/brain, so this was quite a fantastic forum for me. I was completely candid and, by golly, people read what I wrote because they could relate to my experiences. Also, because I put it all out there, I had a loyal following that clung onto my every word. Boy, did I feel popular and wanted. No wonder I updated daily...instant gratification!

There are restrictions to writing on a corporate blog-even if your company is as cool as ours. If there weren't, we'd probably write a whole lot more.

Over the past few weeks, I've had several instances of "Oh, I should blog about that," followed by, "Oh, I don't keep a personal blog anymore." These were very important topics, too. You know, like the lack of good dirty martinis in Manhattan, my upcoming vacation, how well my mom's doing at the farmer's market, the new restaurants I've discovered, the odd stench that occasionally plagues the Franklin Street stop, the fact that The Today Show put "drys up" instead of "dries up" on their weather graphic this morning, and why I think that the British show Extras is the best thing since buttered bread.

Sadly, and as much as we hate to admit it, our current and potential clients aren't always interested in hearing about our social lives and thoughts on things other than the work-at-hand. People don't visit marketing websites to hear the company's political views (go, Obama!)-in fact, it's bad form to even share those in the corporate arena. I mean, what if your prospect is voting differently than you are? This could get ugly.

So, despite the fact that the blog is a casual forum, in the corporate world you can't get too casual. I guess you've gotta keep it biz-cazh, which is just not as enticing a prospect as writing on a free forum where you can be cazh-cazh.

Did I mention that we're completely swamped? I'm sure there are a lot of other reasons we can't write as often as we'd like, but like I said, we don't have the time to discuss them.

Anyway, this is kind of my/our backwards apology for not posting as much as we should be. To our loyal readers (hi, Mom!): we'll get better. We promise. And to our clients: please don't adopt our bad habits. Forget what you read above. The reason we don't blog as frequently as we should is because we're working way too hard for you. And, really, that's all you need to know.